Imagine getting dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn, throwing yourself in the car with screaming children and riding for hours to an amusement park. It’s hot, sweaty and there are tons of people everywhere. Doesn’t that just sound…. awful?

     I don’t know who came up with getting on a mechanical ride that flips and turns but they sure were an idiot. Roller coasters are a terrible invention. Why would someone want to get on a flying metal death trap just so they can scream the entire time and throw up when it’s over? USA today reports, 37,154 people were injured seriously enough to be treated in hospital emergency rooms, and 1,177 of those people were admitted to the hospital or died. Who in god’s name would trust their life in the hands of a carnie. Maybe if their jobs required them to look decent for work or not smoke during their shift it would be a little different.  Why would you put yourself at that risk for about a minute of fun? How can you get off a roller coaster, and then jump right back in line? Don’t you need at least a minute of recovery time? What’s the thrill of going through the same ride twice?

     The worse part of the rollercoaster is when it’s over, the dizziness, the headache and the feeling that your stomach has been tossed around, twisted and turned. The humid air making your already suffering lungs work even harder just to get some oxygen, your body probably hates you when you get off a roller coaster. The best part about those parks is the food; it would make no sense to throw it all up. But everyone loves it, so you slap a fake smile on your face and pretend like you’re actually having a good time.

     You spend upwards of $50 dollars on a ticket to such parks for the whole day. Wouldn’t you want to squeeze every single second of fun out of it? Standing in a line for two hours doesn’t seem like a good time to me and definitely not worth my money. The games, the food, the sights, there’s so much to do!  So while you are waiting in line for the third time to ride the same roller coaster, you can find me enjoying an ice cream cone and a ride on the ferris wheel.