Have you ever felt like you dug yourself into a hole so deep that you couldn’t get out? Have you ever felt so alone you wanted to disappear? Have you ever felt like the only thoughts you have are negative? Have you ever lived with so much regret it was hard to breathe?
I have.
Many events that occurred in the beginning of 2017 left me feeling like I was in a black hole that I could not escape. I was no longer the person that I once thought I was. However, there was one individual I saw every day who kept me from going deeper into that pit: Win Berrell.
He tried to keep me smiling at all times while pushing positive vibes into my head. He knew I was struggling with my faith as well as knowing who I was. Whenever I would hang out with him, he would talk to me about my faith and tell me to pull three positives out of the day. No matter how tough it was or how much I fought him on it, I always managed to do it. If you can pull at least three things, you are having a better day than you thought.
Win encouraged me not to run away from my faith, but to strengthen it. After hearing about a religious leadership program called the High School Leadership Institute through my church, I immediately turned to Win. I questioned him many times on whether I should apply. He reassured me that this could help me find my better self again and that great things would come out of it.
In the beginning of July, I was accepted and thankfully had the chance to attend HIGH LI. There, I learned how to serve as a missionary disciple while strengthening my relationships. I was fortunate enough to be given this opportunity to help serve others.
Although it only lasted for eight days, I became close with many individuals who not only strengthened who I am as a person, but helped me find joy in life. I gained confidence in myself and learned how to find positives even out of the bad things that happen.
Somehow I managed to get through the first day with a lot of doubt. I had no positive energy flowing through my mind. It wasn’t until Alayna Martinez came into my room that things started to look up. She sat down and talked to me about the negativity I was feeling. She proceeded by praying over me, then followed by reading me a part of her favorite psalm: surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever (Psalm 23.6).
The darkness disappeared. I felt whole again. I finally felt like I could do all things again with God’s help as well as Alayna and Win’s prayers.
I was lucky enough to have two friends next to me in times of need. Every person should have at least someone when something is going wrong in life, no matter what it is. Knowing who your person is can save you when you fall into that black hole you never thought you would encounter. And remember: at any one moment you have the power to say; this is not how the story is going to end.