Today I am homesick. I am homesick just from the thought of moving away. “Don’t worry, Danny,” I tell myself, as my thoughts linger. I am scared, and it is the most bittersweet feeling ever.

     I am excited. I am thrilled. Thrilled to live life independently, to decorate my own place, to go wherever I want, whenever I want. To do as I please with my own body, and to give no one the satisfaction of telling me what to do. And I am excited to finally own a cat. 

     But I am homesick. I will miss eating dinner with my mother at night after work, I will miss playing video games with my little sister, especially when that is all she ever wants to do. I will miss even the annoying moments, like putting the groceries away, walking the dog outside when it’s raining, and listening to my mother nagging. She always nags.

     I will miss the sweet moments when my mother would smile after she saw I had washed the dishes. I will miss our long, daily hugs and watching cheesy tv shows together. 

     My coworkers, who I always goof around and have fun with, will be missed dearly.

     I will miss the part of me that will stay behind in the room where I spent the last 6 years.. I could always come home to it–  it was my safe little space. Now it is merely just a room, a room        

     I will soon rip the posters off of its walls. The room that soon will be my little sister’s safe space, too.

     I will miss walking over to the creek right by my house, and catching tadpoles inside of ice pops’ plastic tubes over the summer, and then letting them go.

     Letting go. 

     All throughout high school I kept thinking that I couldn’t wait to leave. To be able to live for myself. But here I am, terrified of it all. I am sure that it will pass. 

     It will pass. 

     New memories will be made. I will have a new safe space. I will come visit my mother, and have dinner with her. I will call her daily, and substitute our hugs with virtual ones. I will visit and have gaming nights with my little sister. Missing it all will get easier, with time. 

With time.