Feeling scared for senior year

The past three years have flown by quick, and I know what you’re thinking: everyone says that. For real though, I feel like it was only yesterday when I was just a little freshman scared to death to start this new and scary school. Now that I’m starting my senior year, everyone is telling me that this is going to be the best year of my life.

Honestly though, I’m scared just like my freshman year. I feel just like that little kid that was beginning to face some new and scary challenges. I’m scared of what’s to come, I’m scared to have all of my last firsts of high school, I’m scared to leave my friends and my teachers. I’m scared to apply to college. I’m scared I won’t get accepted. I’m scared of having to decide my whole future, and overall I’m scared to live through my very last year walking through these comfortable halls and existing in this family we have created.

I know that I’m supposed to be excited to move on and do great things with my life and all, but how can I be excited for something I don’t have planned. And how am I supposed to plan my whole future in just under one year? These decisions are going to set up the rest of my life, and I’m just not ready to make them. The anxiety of the future is engulfing everything around me, and I don’t know what to do.
I’m supposed to know what I love, and that’s supposed to help me choose my future career. This is just a little difficult since it’s not so obvious right now.

What I’m going to love to do for the rest of my life hasn’t presented itself to me yet. I mean I think I love a tv show, but then I get bored with it after only three episodes. How do I know that’s not going to happen with my entire life? I mean, this is one of the most important decisions I’m going to make. These decisions are going to affect everything that happens to me from here on out. Decisions like these are a lot for a teenager to handle.

To make things worse, I feel like everyone around me has a plan for the year. They know where they want to apply, and they have some idea of what they want to do. And right now, I’m just a lost puppy trying to find my way in this world. It’s actually really unsettling.
I’m incredibly uneasy about the year to come, but I’m also really excited. All my hard work is going to pay off; I’m going to graduate. Everything that I’ve accomplished is going to present itself this year. I’m going to have the best time with my friends, and I’m going to figure out what I’m going to do with my life, even though I’m still clueless.

Right now, the most terrifying yet exciting part of my life is starting, and I want to make the best of it. I want to fill every second up with the most amazing things before the best part of my life comes to an end. While everything is scary and terrifying and haunting, it is best to persevere and not let your life pass you by. This is why I’m going to live my life to the fullest to the best of my ability for my senior year.
I’m not sure what’s going to come at me throughout my senior year, but I’m so ready to rock it and
figure everything out as I go. I will not allow my own paralyzing fears to stop me from enjoying and crushing my very last year at North Harford High School. I mean, I only get one single chance to get everything right.