Being yourself-ish: bluntness is better than benevolence

     Sometimes I wish I was a people pleaser. I am who I am, and I’m happy with who I am… sometimes.

     A big part of my personality is how straight-forward I am. People always joke with me about having no filter, or do the opposite and admit that they actually admire the way that I just don’t care. And that’s great, that’s fine, but I want people to like me.

     I refuse to change who I am, even though sometimes I don’t like who I am. I’ve lost friends over the fact that I can’t control what I say or when I say it. I’m not being mean; I’m just speaking my mind. And sometimes that means saying things that others may not have wanted to hear.

     Growing up you’re always told to “be yourself” but the issue that no one wants to talk about is that a lot of people don’t actually like who you are. So throughout high school I was constantly split between wanting to just be myself or wanting to make people like me. 

     Be yourself even if it means subjecting yourself to constant non-constructive criticism from your peers who simply just can’t stand your personality. 

     Though I’ve always picked to be myself, I do find myself wondering how different things could be if I chose to be “likable” instead. I do believe in alternate universes where there exists a version of ourselves who made a different choice- and I wonder if the version of me that chose to be a people pleaser is happier. 

     I showed Mrs. Chandler my rough draft and she said to me “This is interesting, Emily, because I believe you are a people pleaser.” Did she mean the alternate version of me? Because I really don’t believe that I live to please people. In fact, I find myself so often doing the exact opposite of that. 

     Do you know how exhausting it is to hear “Emily, this person doesn’t like you” as often as I do? It’s so overplayed. Why do I even care that someone I think I saw once in the hallway doesn’t like me because of some preconceived notion they have about me?

     Actually, when I put it that way, I don’t care. Whatever I said that made you upset, everyone else was probably thinking it anyways. 

     In fact, when people actually take the chance to get to know me beyond what they observe, they learn to like my bluntness. I have always and will always be the friend you go to when you need a completely honest answer. My friends don’t worry about me lying to them because they know I never will.

     Would you really rather be told “you look great!” and end up going out looking like an idiot as opposed to hearing me say “you look horrible. Go change.”

     Besides, being a people pleaser is so boring. I live to please myself, not everyone else. I am selfish. So what? We all should be.

     I’m a no nonsense, straight to the point, no filter person and that’s the way I like it.