Most people think that most girls have friendships that are toxic and complicated, leaving everyone drained and exhausted by the end of the day. They are not completely wrong – but what about boys? Did you ever consider how their friendships may impact their lives? Boys’ friendships are misunderstood. 

      While female relationships are seemingly more valued by society, it is equally as important to recognize that male friendships play a significant role as well. These kinds of relationships are necessary because they play a key role in maintaining good and stable mental health. 

     Many boys feel that their friendships are not valued nor important, leaving them stuck and unsatisfied. Psychcentral.com reports that girls have friendships that some may call “face to face,” meaning they share their emotions and talk about what is going on in their lives. In contrast, boys have been noted for friendships called “side to side,” which occurs when they do not share events going on in their lives. 

      In the book Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of the Connection by Niobe Way, the author expresses how men truly feel about their friendships. They feel as though they may be labeled “gay,” “girly,” or “feminine” if they maintain a strong connection with their friends and express their emotions to them. This is important because it can take a toll on how they approach their friendships, and they cannot be themselves either. How would you feel if you could not be yourself in the setting of being with your sports team, or with a group of people who you would consider your friends, but do not feel the same? Well, that is how a male’s friendship is viewed. 

      According to choosingtherapy.com, research has shown that under 32% of boys support their friends because they are afraid of getting labels or bullied for having their friends’ back when it comes to a situation a peer feels strongly about. 

     Would you want to have a friend who does not support you? A friend that judges the things you have a passion for? That is not what a real friend is. The definition of a friend is “usually those who offer you support, improve your quality of life, promote self-confidence, provide honesty and unconditional love, and help you progress mentally,” according to betterhelp.com.  

      The idea that male friendships are important is obvious, but men – even when they have good friends – do not always communicate about feelings regularly. Instead, they are talking about sports, work, and video games. So if they aren’t talking to other men about their feelings, who do they express their emotions and feelings to?  

     Well, the answer is women. It has always been women since the beginning of time. It may be a sister, mother, or girlfriend who a boy tells his personal life about. 

      Of course, having friends that can listen to the simple stuff is important, and that is what men do for other men.  But when it comes to the heavy stuff, women often get the spotlight on listening and supporting – and that’s a big responsibility. 

     Regardless of gender, relationships might begin to spiral when there is an imbalance of support. Girls often complain about the lack of effort a boyfriend might put into a relationship. The girl clearly has emotional needs that the boy is missing or ignoring, and that causes conflict. 

      Again, this isn’t a gender thing – it’s a human being thing.  People need to read each other and react appropriately.  It appears that women are generally better at reading people, and that’s why they are more emotionally engaged.  That doesn’t mean males are off the hook for being insensitive. 

      Yes, male friendships and female friendships are both important.  But, more significant is knowing what you need from others, being able to express it clearly, and finding people who hear and react to what you have to say.