Modern internet culture really makes me wonder if people understand the meaning of boundaries. It really should be a simple concept; if someone tells you that they’re uncomfortable with something, then you don’t do the thing (unless, of course, you can’t actually help it). It’s simple, like I said – but for some, I guess it seems impossible.
It’s really a matter of basic respect, but people who take parasocial relationships to the next level are a nightmare – especially for the person on the other side of the screen.
It’s nice when celebrities are relatable, when someone is just like you. However, just because they’re like you (you know…a normal person), does not make them your friend. They do not know you, and with the actions of some these days, they wouldn’t want to, either.
If you’re also chronically online, you’ve probably seen the (stupid, frankly) controversy involving Chappell Roan and ‘fans’ that think they’re so important that they can override her boundaries. Roan wrote in a seven-slide Instagram post that “too many non-consensual physical and social interactions” with creepy fans has left her feeling “the most unsafe [she] ever felt in [her] life,” calling for the elimination of “creepy people, being touched, and being followed.” Unsurprisingly, some people disagreed with Roan, responding that she shouldn’t be complaining since she ‘asked for it’ by becoming famous.
I, however, disagree. The people that do this stuff don’t even know these celebrities like they think they do. Chappell Roan even added in her post that some people have taken to calling her by her given name, Kayleigh, when she’s stated multiple times that she does not like to be called that, especially by random strangers. What makes it so hard to just listen to someone when they ask you not to do something?
Sure, this type of behavior is to be expected, but that doesn’t make it okay. Why should we normalize stalker behavior? Celebrities are no different from everyday people – the only difference is that they’re given a spotlight and a platform. Someone being in the public eye doesn’t mean that people should expect anything of them; at the end of the day, they’re just doing their job. It’s like when you get home from an eight-hour shift, only to be ordered to go to three social events even though you just want a break.
This behavior is especially prominent with women, as well. Icelandic singer Björk was famously at risk when an obsessed fan tried to send a letterbomb to her London residence as a ‘punishment’ for being in a relationship. Legendary singer Selena was killed by the former president of her fan club (who is set to be released from prison this upcoming March), and singer Christina Grimmie was shot and killed by an obsessed fan who reportedly had the “if I can’t have you, no one else can’ mindset.
How long will it take for people to just get the memo and get their minds out of the gutter? Celebrities, no matter who they are, do not owe you their time nor their energy. Harassing and stalking them when they’re just trying to exist is the most selfish, childish behavior I could possibly imagine. If you act like that towards someone you don’t even know, I can only imagine how you act towards the people in your everyday life.