All my friends know that my all time favorite Disney Channel movie is High School Musical. Not just the first one, or the second, or the third, but all of them! I can quote the movie, sing every song, and can perform any scene from the movie in front of an audience at any time, just ask my family.

I lived off of that movie, in fact I still do. Although, that ‘wildcat dream’ did leave me with some problems once I found out the truth: High School Musical is NOTHING like the actual thing.

Instead of waltzing on the roof after helping my significant other pick out a jacket for the prom, I was pulling my hair out over that 150-point assignment due next week with a container of cookie dough ice cream sitting next to me. Last year it definitely wouldn’t have been ‘A Night to Remember.’

Now bear with me a moment while I try to explain one thing: I would take these ‘meltdown’ moments any day over the dramatic scene that High School Musical sometimes portrays. But other than the drama of high school, there’s a lot of other ‘distracting extracurriculars’ that aren’t exactly ideal for a high school student, or anyone for that matter.

You see, I could be out watching everyone get trashed at a local party, but no one would ever do that kind of stuff, right? A year ago, the old me would not have seen anything wrong with those kind of choices. It was easier to do what people expected: going with the flow and succumbing to pressure to fit in.

I fell into this rabbit hole that I couldn’t get out of. I wasn’t raised the way I was acting, I didn’t even know who I was. I turned into this emotionless, less confident, lost girl that now had to face one of the biggest struggles of her teenage life. It wasn’t until reality finally hit that I knew something was seriously wrong in my life.

Let me be honest with you: a violent attack of my personal property was probably the ‘best’ worst situation that ever happened, although my bank account thought otherwise. That following day included a phone call to my parents explaining what had happened.

Having to explain to them how I ever ended up in the situation I was in left me in a state of unbelief. I was feeling so many things at once: Disappointment? Waste of space? Invisible? Crawl in a hole and die?

After this experience, I struggled with the feeling of depression and anxiety everyday.  I felt pity for myself and I was trapped in a never ending cycle of guilt. I wondered how I would recover from this sort of thing.

One of the hardest things about transforming your life is cutting the people out that meant so much to you at one point in time. But guess what; those kind of friendships can be VERY one-sided. They might not care as much as you think they do. Sometimes you feel so free after losing them.

As my mom likes to say, people can be ‘toxic’. At the time I couldn’t see their devastating impact on me;  now it’s crystal clear.

Thankfully, after many nights of tears and breakdowns, I have successfully altered my life to be less about what others expect of me and more about what I expect of myself. You might be sitting down reading this laughing about how lame my new life may be. I don’t party, I consider my mom my best friend, and I spend a lot of my free time at church. But you see; I love my uneventful, relaxing, religious life- and that’s something I never thought I would hear myself say.

I used to be a Sharpay Evans, loving the hottest drama and always trying to make myself look good. Over time, I’ve seen myself transform into a Kelsi Nielsen; I try to be myself, and find my own rhythm of life.

I found the mountain; I hit my head on the mountain, multiple times actually… and then jumped over that mountain. But as you can tell, this wasn’t an easy task.

It’s taken a year, but I have successfully reached the top of the mountain I’ve been trying so hard to climb. Guess what; at the top of this mountain, there’s another mountain waiting to be climbed. No matter how much you alter your life and are satisfied with it, there’s always room for self growth.