There is a perfectly good explanation for why this happened…

Annie Finholm, Reporter

     You may be saying to yourself, “This project was assigned a month ago. How on earth could you possibly not have it done?” Well, it’s kind of a funny story. I must ask that you give me your complete trust when I explain the situation.

     If there’s any reason for you to not believe my story, I must take it personally. That being said, I was going to get a head start on it, but then I was in a coma until the day before this due date. 

     This was perfect timing on my behalf because it left me exactly 24 hours to get the assignment completed. Except, there was a slight snag. It just so happened that my best friend’s birthday passed whilst I was in the coma, so I had to swiftly deliver her present to her house before I could begin the project.  

     When I got home from presenting her with the perfect gift, I was fully prepared to spend the rest of the time I had left on the project. However, as I sat down at my desk, my dog came over to me and gave me the cutest little face ever. Her ears were all perked up and her eyes were bright with happiness. So, inevitably, I spent about an hour playing with her. 

     This ended up working in my favor because now I had only about 20 hours to complete the project. It’s important to note that 20 is my lucky number, so it was really for the best that I only had this much time.  

     Once I was ready to seize the remainder of the day, my stomach began to grumble like a ferocious lion. Come to think of it, I hadn’t eaten solid food since I went into a coma. Naturally, I had to rush to the kitchen to make myself a turkey and cheese sandwich. 

     If I’ve learned anything from my time on this planet, it’s that food, for me, is the key to success. Without taking that speedy lunch break, the project I was about to begin would have been completed very poorly.  

     Anyways, as I was eating, I noticed that my plants had not been watered in the time I had been deeply unconscious. This meant that I not only had to pour water into the watering can but also pour water into the soil of my plants.  

     Something about the way the water trickled out of the spout of the watering can into the dehydrated plants reminded me of my favorite television show entitled Blue’s Clues. All of a sudden, I realized that I had not caught up on the new episodes that had been released during my coma.  

     Just as I was about to inform Steve about a letter that had just arrived, I felt my eyes flutter shut and I allowed myself to fall into a peaceful slumber. Of course, no one in my household dared to wake me up because they knew how exhausted I must be after a long day.  

     When I awoke, it had magically become the next day. I rushed out the door as quickly as possible in order to get to school on time. As my feet reached the entrance to your classroom, I remembered that I had not gotten the chance to begin the assignment.  

     While I could have made this all up, I can assure you I did not. I hope that the benefit of the doubt will be given to me. No matter how outlandish this tale may seem, as well as the other excuses you may be given today, you should always believe the student because it takes a lot of courage for us to share our story. 

     So, no, I didn’t finish the project. But I feel with another month of time, I can get the work done.