Most teens hit high school and feel like they need to hide in the shadows and become what everyone around them wants to be. And that need to “fit in” begins in middle school.

     Living in black and white will make you feel good at first but when you are finally alone lying in bed looking around the darkness there will be this feeling of emptiness. As a senior who just recently discovered who I was it is hard to look back at the things the world put me through. 

     Back in freshman year I thought to be cool I had to wear makeup because the face underneath wasn’t good enough. Little did I know that the makeup I wore only broke out my acne but taking it off was liberating.

     During sophomore year I accepted that I was pansexual, and I truly found ways to be happy with who I was and who I was becoming.  However, just when life seems easy, it isn’t.

    My obstacle was an ex-boyfriend who wanted to recreate my life. When he was in my life, all of the happiness I had built was stripped away from me. I was TOLD who I was and how to act, that I was straight and I couldn’t be gay.   

     Living in this darkness  created scars on my body that I have to live with every day. I chose the wrong paint brush to use on my canvas. Even after the relationship was over. I struggled to come into the light again. I was that freshman girl again, worried about my looks and the opinions others would create.

        Getting to the happiness you desire is not going to be a piece of cake but do not give up on the world when things get difficult. There are times you will believe that ending your life is the only escape but there will always be sunshine at the end of the storm. 

     Now that my storm has passed I am happy with who I am. I am proud to be gay and can’t wait to see what my future holds. So the next time you   question something, do what will make YOU happy.