It’s not just the physical conditioning, but the mental conditioning that matters.

     Lining up on the start line, waiting for a single gunshot to start the race is normal for me. But running wasn’t only the race I faced;  the racing thoughts in my head were ready to start too. I take a breath and let it out.

    When people look at track and field, they don’t always see a sport, especially one with much skill.  “You just run” they say, as if it’s nothing.  But skill and technique is what we are taught at practice.  And most most importantly,  preparing not only your body for each race, but your mind.  

    As the years went on, so would the speed in my competitors and teammates.  I would be intimidated and let my fear get the best of me.   

     For the first few meets, I would tell myself that I couldn’t do it, that I wasn’t good enough, that I was hurting or even not feeling good.  Whatever I told myself, I would most likely believe.  I would find a way to feel sick before meets whether it was just in my head or real.  Sometimes it was hard to tell.  I don’t know because I let the negativity control me.   

     It was this way on the field for field hockey, overthinking each move, thinking too hard in my head instead of just doing what I was capable of doing. Instead I worried about the clipboard, the comments, the coaches. 

     It’s not just that way in my athletic life, but in my academics too.  It seems that I understand everything in class, do my classwork without a problem and by the time a test is placed in front of me, I freeze, blank out everything I know I learned.  As this continued, I would tell myself that I was going to fail the test before I even saw it.  Believing that I didn’t know anything. 

     As high school continued; I was complaining to my brother about my “poor test taking ability” one day.  He said something that has stuck with since, “if you go into the test thinking you are going to fail, then you will.”    He added, “but if you go in with confidence, telling yourself you know the content and that you are going to do great on it, then you will.” 

     I will never forget the single sentence that began to turn my life around. 

     My parents never doubted me;  they told me  “We have faith in you, you just need to find the confidence in yourself.”  I was gifted with two metal bracelets, the small black cursive lettering read, “be strong and courageous,” and the other “you got this.”   

     It was the simple words of others that got the positivity back in my head and that’s all it took to find myself.  It made me realize that I need to stop constantly trying to impress others, stop trying to do anything I can for acceptance.  What is important is accepting yourself, doing your best. Not to be good enough for others, but to be good enough for yourself. 

     Adults have told us “massive challenges will come and go in our lives,” and they are right, but in reality, the biggest challenge we face is in ourselves.  

   We constantly put ourselves down, we blame the people or situations around us, we make excuses for what is or is not happening in our lives.

It’s hard to get past this type of thinking, but we must.

     We get to graduate and head into the future knowing that the challenges of the past can be the strength of tomorrow and everyday moving forward for now on.  We can’t set ourselves up to fail before we’re even given an opportunity.